I have worked most of my adult life to be a better person. What I have found is that no matter how hard you try, you will still make mistakes that you will regret. No matter how good your intentions they don’t always produce a good result. That being said, all we can do is our best. We really can’t do more than that.
We should always look at ourselves and work to improve ourselves where we know we need it. Everyone has something they can do better.
One lesson I learned long ago is that we expect a lot from others. But we also expect a lot from ourselves. It is near impossible to live up to your own standards that you set for yourself. If we can’t even live up to our own standards, how can we expect others to live up to them?
If a spouse does something wrong. You may feel like that person let you down. But that person also let themselves down. They know the standard you hold them to, and it is hard for them to live up to it, just like it is hard for us to live up to our own standards we set for ourselves. Imagine how much more so it is for them to live up to standards you set for them?
I find that introspection is necessary for us to be able to accept ourselves and to always try to be our best self. Likewise looking deeply to understand others who we love or are close to can help us gain understanding and a nonjudgmental acceptance for all that he or she is. After all we are all just trying our best.
This can go for groups as well. We have to be able to look deeply and understand one another whether we agree on issues or not. If we don’t we will never find a middle ground. We will never solve the great problems of our society.
But mostly it begins with ourself. We have to work to be the ideal person who we imagine we are.
We are conditioned beings and yes society does influence us. But it is up to us to realize this, and end that energy within our own selves. If we don’t these traits will continue to be spread throughout society. We can only end them in us. First and foremost we need understanding. Understanding is the true definition of compassion.
This is how we own up.